Dwell Put

Man that is such a lame title, sorry, I couldn't think of anything clever. It was either that or "Sleep Dwell" or "D well is deep", yea they are all kind of lame.

Talking to friends of mine this past week has helped me to realize that many of life’s problems can be created, prolonged and eventually overcome with one word. Dwell. As humans we are constantly searching for answers, and with more answers come new questions. I think that when we can’t find the answers, our flow of trying to be complete is interrupted and we get stuck in areas because we need answers or we need to feel ok about what has affected us.

Dwell - To fasten one's attention. Don’t dwell on bad things! Easier said than done right? I mean, for example, your girlfriend leaves you. She says nothing, and you feel so hurt. And you dwell on why and possibly how can I make it work again? You dwell on the pain. So a quick solution to the problem - stop dwelling on those things. If we could do that at the drop of a hat I am sure we would. But we can’t. But something I have learned is that what you do dwell on will come to be most important in your brain.

I once talked to a married man about his marriage. He had been married just under 10 years. He expressed his dissatisfaction with the physical relationship with is wife. He explained how I didn’t understand because I was not married and didn’t even have a girlfriend. I said maybe I didn’t, but that I knew a few things about life. I asked him what he had done to romance his wife, to get her interested to win her heart. He looked puzzled at me. He said “we are already married; I don’t need to win her over.” I paused, looked him straight in the eye and said slowly “Yes, you do”. I said how often do you think about her during your day? How often do you think about what a perfect date for you and her would be, what would make a beautiful evening for you both? When did you last cook supper for you and the family and do the dishes? When did you even take her out last for supper, just you and her? He said life was really busy. I simply said to him, “When you put her on your mind, you will begin to love her and serve her more. And things might not feel exciting for you, but do it for her, you will learn to love and serve her, and eventually she will respond to you, then learn to do everyday things to show you love her, simple things” Finally after a while of talking with him, I said “Look man, you take that beautiful wife of yours out for a romantic evening. And be creative. Make it different, integrate things she likes into your evening, make it special, you are a smart man!” “Be a man and love your wife!!!” I don’t think he went away really inspired, and maybe even a little ticked at me for thinking I knew what I was talking about, but you know what? He did what I told him to anyways and I have never seen 2 people more in love. They have their problems, but I can see that they are now serving each other on a daily basis. And he is much happier not only in his physical relationship with his wife, but in all aspects of his marriage. It wasn't just the date that changed his marraige, he had to work at it, but now they are both very happy and are both working hard at it. He says they enjoy more time together talking, going on dates and just being together. And I am really happy for them!

Well that was a long story, but the truth is that when he put his mind on his wife, he began to realize the beautiful person that she was. It’s easy at first I assume, because young love is just that way and i believe that young love is a gift from God, but as you grow, servant hood needs to be key, if you serve each other form the start, it will be a habit to continue. And I think that maybe our relationship with God is like that. We enjoy our new love relationship with God, and as it matures, we lose touch with the basics. But if we try to dwell on God, even if it feels fake or that it is not working, we might find that what happens is that relationship is rebuilt and there is a “renewing of our minds”.

I know that when we dwell on things they become what is most important in our lives. When my fiancée left me 8 years ago, I spent 2 years dwelling. And not that all of that was wasted time, some of it was grieving time for what I had lost, I needed time to reflect as well. But not having closure and not being able to move on after some time has passed was like planting a “weed seed” in my mind. And that weed seed grows and chokes out the flowers and other beautiful things trying to grow in your mind.

I encourage you all to dwell on the beautiful things in life, Dwell on God. We don’t need to be robots and pretend that there are no disappointments, and life is perfect, I agree with Lynnel and Kristy-Anne as well, we do need to examine our lives, it is very important. I am so glad I get to read their blogs and I thank them for sharing their hearts, because one way I grow is from the wisdom of others, they always keep me thinking. This blog is something different I am not out to debate their points at all, I agree with them very much. I had a friend today who is having trouble with letting go of someone and the word “Dwell” has been on my mind these last few days, so I wanted to write my thoughts down. I’m not out to step on anyone’s toes, so I hope I don’t make anyone feel that way.

God Bless

Ty